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twinmama2711
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Name: Allison
Gender: Female
Interests: watching my 4 children grow and learn new things, knitting (in my spare time- HA!), baking, trying to prove to my hubby that i CAN keep plants alive (known to others as "gardening"), reading, .
Expertise: cooking (i'm not sure i would say i'm an expert, but more often than not i hear 'wow, this is good!' so i think that's close enough), folding laundry, kissing owies, loading the dishwasher, baking.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/25/2005
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| i really don't think anyone will read this considering i haven't written here in 2 looooooooooooooong years. i guess i keep proving to myself that blogging may not be for me. but today i felt the need to do a bit of an emotional purge and this seemed like a good place to do it.
you know those times where you can feel your relationships shifting? it may not be good or bad per se, but you know that things are different and you feel yourself trying to adjust. kind of like wearing your pre-pregnant clothes after you've had the baby (and in my case had to lose a bunch of weight). they still fit, sort of, but things have definitely moved and shifted. it's not bad, you just have to get used to some things being in different places and adjust yourself accordingly. i am feeling that with many of my relationships right now. and while i know in my head that it's part of this cycle of life that we go through, and we all change and grow at different times and in different ways, it is still hard. and i don't necessarily want to make those changes and adjustments. sometimes i just want things to keep going the way they were.
the other hard part is waiting to see who is going to move in and merge into those places where others have shifted away. or trying to figure out how to adjust yourself to fill in that now-empty space. i can see new hobbies and projects and experiences coming down the road that i am very excited about, but the people that i would like to share them with and grow with are not necessarily on the same road looking toward the same things.
how do you know when the right time is to make a change or a shift out of a place or community? do you just wait for a natural exit to present itself? or do you recognize what's coming and voluntarily remove yourself? how long do you keep trying to inject yourself into a community before you give in to the feeling that there maybe just isn't enough room at that particular table for you?
my oldest is in middle school now and has been going through this very thing during the year. new school, new people, old friends that make new friends and change. she has come through it beautifully and i am so proud of her. there is now a new, bigger, nicer (from what i can tell) cloud of friends around my daughter. she had some days where life sucked a bit, but she came through it with a smile and a new table full of friends to show for it.
i hope i can emerge from this time with a similar positivity. it's not the first time things have changed in my life and i know it won't be the last, but for some reason it seems to be more difficult for me right now. maybe because it's happening in more than one area at the same time.
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| happy birthday to one of my best friends- even though i know you hate them! I love you!
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| we have now arrived in what i like to call the post-holiday void. you know the place. all the presents are opened, but not all of them have homes yet. the tree is gone, but the memory of it still makes you feel a little sad. the ornaments are stored away, and you can't help but think that there has to be a better way to organize them. the lights are still on the house (because someone, ahem, would rather spend saturdays taking naps and watching 'next' instead of crawling on the roof), but they never get turned on. the kitchen is still full of holiday treats that mock you as you try to make good on your new resolutions for the year.
this year for christmas we added this and one of these and this big thing to our home. please don't ask me how they are going to fit in our house and still leave room for the PEOPLE that live here. i have no idea. the horse is currently in grace and hannah's room. we were going to get 'big girl beds' this year, but unless we get a bigger house or build a barn in the backyard, they aren't going to fit.
there were also lots of trucks for zach and several noise making toys. i can't place all the blame on others for that. i contributed to the noise factor. subconsciously i think i was hoping that if there were more things to be loud, it might motivate some people to work on the back yard so we can sell this house and get into something a little bigger. i'll let you know if it works.
despite the stress, over-stimulation, and endless driving that the holidays brought, i found myself gazing at the christmas display in a store window the other day wishing that we could go back and do it all over again. all the anticipation and excitement and warmth of family....why doesn't it last all year? i know i complain every year about how early the stores put out their christmas decorations, but in reality i long for it. it seems a shame to put all that effort and hope and eagerness into something only to have to pack it up in a box and store it away for a whole year. one of my goals this year is to remember all the fun family times we had this holiday season and try to make more of them throughout the year.
and now i must take a break from myself to feed a few small children that seem to have wandered into my 'me' time.
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| do you ever have times when certain things happen and you just know it's going to be one of THOSE days? it started this morning/last night at about 12:30am. i was dreaming peacefully about college friends and suddenly one of them started coughing. and another started crying. and then i realized that those sounds were coming from the hallway back in reality. i pulled myself out of dreamland and went out to console the small person lurking by my door. pat, pat, pat. wipe the nose and eyes. hugs, kisses, i love yous and now-go-back-to-sleep-and-don't-get-out-of-bed-til-the-sunshine-is-up. then i returned to my bed only to lie there listening to my hubby snoring and zach coughing and 'talking' in his sleep.
i must have finally dozed off because the next thing i hear is more coughing in the hallway. this time we go downstairs to get medicine and then it's back to bed. tuck in, make sure all the appropriate animals are present, more hugs, more kisses. and grace snored on during the whole thing! i went back to bed and just as i got comfy zach launched into a coughing fit that i decided needed some medicine. and sure enough, once i got back with it he was sound asleep. i gave it to him anyway. i vaguely remember eric leaving for work and saying goodbye. but i definitely remember hearing yelling from downstairs and looking at the clock that said 6:30am. grace and hannah were both downstairs doing who-knows-what and being VERY loud for that time of morning. i put them back in their beds and told them that they had better be quiet because people are trying to sleep and it's not time to get up yet.
i'm not sure what time it was when i gave in to zach's persistent yells from his crib and finally got up. but i do know that as i was walking downstairs i was thinking how genius it was that i had set the coffee maker the night before. there was coffee! i could smell it. ah, maybe the day won't be so bad after all. those thoughts disappeared when i got to the kitchen and saw all my beautiful coffee on the counter spilling over to the floor. i'm not sure what happened, but there was a brewing problem i guess. overflow? i'm not sure how, since i remembered to dump out the two-day-old remnants before i set it. funny joke from God? perhaps. he is such a prankster. but i'm not laughing yet. and i'm on cup #2. with creamer.
the rain drizzle mist is not helping either. and now i have to get up the motivation to get in the shower and make a trip to fred meyer. it was going to be target and the grocery store, but after this morning i don't want to see what might happen if i appear overconfident in my children's ability to behave well in public ability to keep it all together in front of other people!
on a happier note- there are only 5 days til christmas!!! yay! family, food, football and movies! it doesn't get much better than that.
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| A - Available/Single? married
B - Best Friend? i have been blessed with many
C- Cake or Pie? depends on the situation...today i would go with pie
D - Drink Of Choice? cinnamon dulce latte from starbucks when they are available (sorry shara)
E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? dishwasher
F - Favorite Color? right now - pink and brown
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? bears
H - Hometown? right now home is lafayette, but if we're going with where i grew up- bellevue and salem
I - Indulgence? see 'D'
J - January Or February? january - a fresh new start and perhaps a *slight* chance of snow
K - Kids & Their Names? ashley, grace, hannah and zachary
L - Life Is Incomplete Without? God
M - Marriage date? july 9
N- Number Of Siblings? zero, i'm one of those spoiled only children! 
O - Oranges Or Apples? depends on my mood
P - Phobias/Fears? losing who i am to motherhood
Q
- Favorite Quote? oh, there are so many to choose from- it's impossible to choose
R - Reason to Smile? our christmas tree is up and the house smells great!
S - Season? fall- before it starts raining
T - Tag 3 or 4 people? if you haven't done this yet, consider yourself tagged
U - Unknown Fact About Me? i'm an open book- i'm not sure there are any unknown facts
V - Vegetable you don’t like? brussel sprouts
W - Worst Habit? procrastination- can i count that as a habit or is it just a character flaw?
X - X-rays You’ve Had? back
Y - Your Favorite Food? carbohydrates of any kind!
Z - Zodiac Sign? i'm a gemini but I don't do horoscope stuff - God's got me covered | | |
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